Sooo....lets see what to say.... I still work at the same job. Oh and i broke up with Alex about two weeks ago. It feels good. Of course i feel lonely but i wasnt happy with him anyways so what was the point? Now i have time to do what i want when i want. I started taking this nude drawing class on saturdays. its awesome. im slowly reconnecting with people and its good to know you still have some good friend. Other then that life is good. Im rolling with the punches but im also throwing a few swings back....

im putting up some prints

another funeral...I'm not even over the last one...life is upsetting.

my life is good. im leaving to san fran in a few hours. i cant wait.

I need some good advice. Me and Alex are on the rocks, big time. I dont know if i should cut my losses or try to keep him....

last night was rowdy. thank you linda, vanessa, celeste, ashley, and lany. i have not had sucha good time with you girls in a long long time.

so i get up at six thirty get ready for work, drive, work work work, stay late, drive home, go to school, go to sleep. i like being so busy, gives me time to save money. im making them positive changes.

So I've been working part time for about three weeks, and today I found out that they want to promote me. Im going to be working full time and get sick benefits and lots of moneys. Im so thankful for my job. I actually like it but now its time for a new challenge I hope I do good when I move up. So many things seem possible when money is in the picture.

Alex has been gone for a month and he is not coming back till the first week of May. I almost feel like I'm single. I have never been in a long distance relationship. Its not hard but it has its challenges. I get to see Alex for two weeks then he has to leave again, oh well.

yesterday was officially the worst day of my life. this one is going to take some time...

Sooo Alex is going to be working out of state for a while so that means I will have lots of free time now to dedicate to reconnecting with people again. I have become such a hermit. I don't go to shows like i used to. I wanna be friends with everyone again. call me write me a letter send me messages anything just say hello.

deserie munoz
17010 e.holton west covina ca
91791
626-488-3270

Slowly but surely im moving up. Im making positive changes. im proud to say ive even put down the marijuana. the only thing i need to depend on is myself. im going to make it to the top you'll see.

So since I couldnt afford school this session my plan is to focus on getting a job. Im not gonna be doing too much photography right now. I had some jobs but i had to cancel them. My goal right now is to have a job by my birthday which is less then a month away. So if i dont have a job by my birthday then I dont want to do anything that day. No parties or dinner or anything. All i want is a normal job right now. I dont want to do photography right now, Im just not having the heart for it like i used to. I also gave up smoking weed for a while. Its not doing me any good right now. So wish me luck

support

as happy as i am, i'm miserable.

Even though I don't spend any time with my usual friends, I do get to spend time with the first person i can truly say I am in love with. He is my best friend and lover. I have never been so comfortable with a person in my life. This feeling is new and great. All the past crushes I have had do not add up to the love we share. And im serious when i say he is my best friend. We do so many fun things together whether its going to museums, painting together, or just bumming it. I dont know what some of you may have heard but he is a wonderful person. Not only artistic but very intelligent. He has broadened my horizons as i have done the same for him. Some of you met him, and I would like for everyone else to meet him. I was pretty shy about admitting that I had boyfriend finally, but now look at us, we have been going out for 11 months already. Wow! I have never been interested in someone for so long. And like i said he pushes me to be a better person and be more conscience of my future.

i guess i succeeded in loosing friends no one calls me anymore. oh well maybe its my fault. well it is but i dont mind. Ive been taking care of buisness

i just dont know what to do, i cannot believe what i have found. everytime i think about it i get so sick to my stomach and i feel like collapsing. this has nothing to do with friends or any stupid insignificant bullshit drama we love to dwell on. its much deeper. i wouldnt even know how to talk about. i cant believe it but in the back of my mind i knew it. i wish someone could help me. but there is no chance in that. i know that these next years are going to be tuff and im going to have to grow up faster and stop fucking around.

ps,
i like this video and song watch it

for

http://thesunmeltsme.blogspot.com/
http://thesunmeltsme.blogspot.com/
http://thesunmeltsme.blogspot.com/
http://thesunmeltsme.blogspot.com/

same shit
but i guess it feels different
check it

and these

http://flickr.com/photos/throughmymind/
http://flickr.com/photos/throughmymind/
http://flickr.com/photos/throughmymind/
http://flickr.com/photos/throughmymind/

i freaking love school! i found the perfect place to go and its so cheap and i get to print all the photos i want for free. ooooh ima make some things happen now. My brother just moved to Alaska but he'll be back in four months, Lately ive been pretty much keeping to myself but i miss everyone way to much! Anyways everyone who reads this hit me up i wanna hang out. And i wanna take a nice portrait of everyone all yall!

Oh and so now our family is pretty open about smoking. My dad will roll me joints and my mom will surprise me with cute nugs on my pillow. Oh boy now ill really never stop smoking weed at this rate.


ps. I NEED A JOB

after all the break ups and make ups i knew the end would come soon. i could feel it in my heart. i know our relationship wasn't right and he knew it too. we were trying to fool ourselves by staying together but this is for the best. at first i cried but then i realized i didn't have to because no matter what everything will be ok and ill be ok and ill struggle and fail but ill always try again and one day ill reach the top. so yeah from now im just concentrating on school and working. i need to repair and rebuild some relationships. but anyways the photography thing is sorta looking up for me i think i might really try to start something but ill die before i do something i dont support or believe in im not going to become a party photographer or anything im just going to keep documenting all my journies and travels from now on....



ps.so check this i was at breesa's party and alot of fights broke out we were hiding in the house and i was using the restroom then suddenly someone threw a full bottle of apple vodka or something through the window and glass shattered all over me again. this is the 4th time i freaked out and it worried me and it made me wish i was with my real friends who protect me and have my back but then it also made me think that its some sort of sign and i really dont know how to interpret it.